I have been blessed to have 5 grandparents. And Nana was in my life much longer than of those related to me by blood.
With all my heart, I wish that my younger cousins, especially my Patchell cousins, were able to know Nana the way Melanie and I did.
I first met her a couple of years after she began dating my grandfather – Ganggang, as Melanie and I called him, and we called her Aunt Dorothy then.
When we moved to Toronto after our parents split up, Nana, our grandfather, and our aunt Liz, were the constant reassuring presences in our lives. It didn't hurt that we had an aunt and several uncles who were close to us in age. We were more like children than grandchildren.
There were many weekends at the cottage, Sunday brunches when we all lived in proximity along the lake in Toronto, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, our tiny apartments crowded with people, laughter and food and music.
Some of those weekends at the cottage, my sister and I went with them alone, as mom and our stepfather went off on fishing trips. It was an ideal place to spend summers, especially for two transplants from northern Ontario.
My grandfather proposed marriage in 1976, and I had the unique pleasure of being a bridesmaid at my grandparents wedding along with Melanie and our cousin Christina. On that day, I christened her “NanaD”.
I'm not going to pretend that she was always a good influence; on a couple of occasions that I can recall, Nana, our mom and aunt took my sister and I to Woodbine to spend an afternoon watching the races. Don't worry – they placed our bets for us!
I consider myself to be the luckiest of all 19 grandchildren as I was able to go on the most epic girl's trip ever with my grandmother!
In 1990, I had a job as a personal assistant to someone running in the provincial election. The plan was that I would run their household – yes, it was someone fairly wealthy – after they went to Queen's Park. But they lost, and my services were not required. So I started working as an office temp again, in between rehearsing roles for small musical companies in Toronto.
At the time, Uncle Ger was doing his PhD in BC. He was going to fly to Toronto, drive to Florida with Nana, and head back to Vancouver. Nana decided that she would take me with her to Florida instead. We would make a vacation of the process.
I don't drive, never learned, this trip was going to take a few days!
We set out on a cold, sunny November morning and got from Toronto to Cincinnati the first night.
The next day, we went to the Kentucky Horse Park to see the exhibits about the history of horse racing and to pay our respects to Secretariat. It was a lovely, sunny, and now warm, day.
We hadn't made reservations at hotels along the way, thinking we would be okay since it was fairly early in the snowbird season. Not the best idea.
As we drove down I75, every exit we passed had large billboards for all the motel chains along the interstate system. And all of them had the words no vacancy flashing in red. An hour past the Kentucky-Tennessee state line, we came to an exit where the no vacancy lights weren't lit up and we pulled off the highway in deep twilight. But as we drew closer, we saw that all the major chain motels were full.
There was a sign pointing up a hill indicating there were more motels there, but all were full, except one near the top. It was a small, 5-storey mom & pop operation, and we were relieved to learn they had a double room available. Even better, our ridiculously low room rate included dinner AND breakfast in the rooftop restaurant. Nana and I head up to find a buffet that was a cliche of southern cooking – chicken fried steak, biscuits and gravy, even collard greens. We didn't care, we were tired and hungry!
We were at the top of the hill at this place – Caryville, Tennessee – and we could see the lights of the cars on the interstate and lights stretched along the banks of a lake below us.
When we returned in the morning we saw the mist rising from Cove Lake and could see the cottages and homes dotting the banks of the water. Breakfast was another southern masterpiece – bacon, sausage, pancakes, more biscuits and gravy!
As we left, we got the directions to head to Dollywood! Did y'all know that my Nana was a fan of Dolly Parton?
We headed out through Knoxville on our way to Sevierville and Pigeon Forge in Tennessee. We had lunch at a restaurant attached to a combination Christmas and model train store – first Christmas store I'd ever seen. Then we headed to Dollywood.
Only to find it closed!
It was between seasons at the park – they had closed after Halloween to prepare for the Great Smokey Mountain Christmas that would open 10 days later on American Thanksgiving. The person at the gate told us that we were free to walk around the grounds and that the gift shop was open.
Nana and I spent an hour walking around the park, taking in the sights including the replica cabin of Dolly Parton's childhood home. We stopped in the gift shop to buy a cassette tape of Dolly's greatest hits and drove through Great Smokey Mountains National Park, with the sun roof open, singing along – LOUDLY – to Dolly's greatest hits!
The next morning, we bypassed the traffic of Atlanta, going through Athens, Georgia on our way to Macon, where my guide book told me was a beautifully preserved antebellum mansion and a Victorian opera house. After touring Hay House and having lunch we headed to the Grand Opera House. They were closed too! I was going to give up and started turning away, but Nana said to the woman at the box office:
My granddaughter is an opera singer in Canada and I know she would really love to see your theatre.
The woman looked at me and I nodded my head vigorously! I really was missing rehearsals for productions with the Toronto City Opera.
The lady closed the box office and gave us a private tour of the facility. Lovingly restored in the 70s, it was as if a high-end European opera house had flown across the Atlantic and set down in Georgia. Elaborate gold work and 3 floors of private boxes flank the stage. A small orchestra pit, tiny dressing rooms, and wings not designed for modern theatre equipment are not usually seen by the public. As we left, I bought the t-shirt that I am wearing now!
Once in Florida, we spent a day at Busch Gardens seeing the wildlife, and went on a wild manatee hunt one day when the news said that a colony of them had been spotted near the Alafia River. So many people were there on Tampa Bay that the manatees had been scared off! Then we went to my aunt and uncle's house in Fort Lauderdale for American Thanksgiving – and I took my 2 native Floridian cousins ice-skating!
After our return to Largo, I flew back to Toronto.
Obviously, this trip has meant the the world to me as the years go by. And Nana and I would reminisce about some of the things we did over those 3 weeks.
More than anything, Nana was my champion.
When I moved out on my own, mom was angry with me and didn't speak to me for months. Nana was the first person in my family to come to my little bachelorette pad for dinner. Similarly, when I bought my house here in London, mom said it was the stupidest thing I had ever done. And Nana and Arthur, were the first members of my family to come and see my home. While on the Florida trip, she told me that she would run interference with my mom if I wanted to have a baby or adopt a child on my own.
Nana was not overly demonstrative, but you knew she loved you fiercely in her quiet way. The “I love you”s were more frequent in recent years.
She brought into my life 3 kind and loving men I am proud to call uncle. Her work ethic has been my inspiration and lead me to a new job at a time most people would consider retirement.
My life has been shaped and enriched by her love. All of us will never be the same without her.
In the timeless words of Dolly Parton:
Nana, I will always love you.
